RON UNZ IS NOT A ONE-NOTE CANDIDATE
Ralph E. Shaffer
Walter P. Coombs
Ron Unz's announcement that he will be a candidate for the Republican
Senatorial nomination in 2000, seeking to replace Democrat Dianne Feinstein,
has drawn scoffs and snickers from within his own party and from his
Democratic opposition. Dismissing Unz as a fly-by-night whose only claim to
fame is his successful management of Proposition 227, the anti-bilingual
education initiative, they argue that Unz is so narrow-focused that he cannot
conduct a campaign on the broad issues facing the U. S. Senate.
But Unz is not a one-dimensional candidate. His brief but specific platform
goes to the heart of what's wrong with America and appeals to many voters. Here
is a preview of his agenda.
To demonstrate his belief that the people, not the media, own the air waves,
Unz will propose federal legislation protecting that right from narrow
corporate interests and from the vagaries of program managers. Disturbed by
the increasing number of foreign language stations operating within the U.S.,
Unz will propose that all over-the-air radio and tv must be broadcast in
English. Television re-runs originally aired in English will not be translated
into other languages for rebroadcast in the U.S. New cablecasts in foreign
languages will have open-caption English translations to encourage immigrants
to learn it.
Heeding the warnings of the no-growth and environmental movements, Unz will be
no friend to developers. His legislation will require English-only names for
new roads, parks, subdivisions and tracts. All streets currently carrying
quaint, cute or euphonious foreign names will be changed to English, as was
done in Los Angeles in 1849 when the city was first mapped by an American. Main
Street is certainly a more wholesome and American-sounding name than Calle
Principal.
Existing cities with foreign names translatable into English will be changed to
that form immediately. El Monte will become Thicket City; Los Angeles will
officially become the City of Angels. (To avoid a church-state debate all
cities named San or Santa will simply become Ana, Barbara, Monica, Marino,
etc., using the Anglicized version without the saintly forerunner.)
Unz's commitment to freedom of the press is evident in his proposed
clarification of the First Amendment. To forward the rapid assimilation of
immigrants, foreign language papers will be printed in English with occasional
side bars in the native language, thus using the press as a form of (shall we
say it?) bi-lingual education.
To protect consumers, all advertisements will be English-only, regardless of
the media used. Business signs in foreign languages will be banned, thereby
guaranteeing that American citizens can easily find a store. This also
fosters his commitment to law enforcement by making it easier for police, fire
and other emergency services to find the business they are directed to. In an
appeal to frustrated purchasers of new appliances, all instruction manuals must
be printed in the U. S. and written by an American citizen whose native
language is English.
The high cost of utilities has also drawn his attention. That will be attacked
by prohibiting publication of Spanish-language yellow pages by the phone
companies, or the insertion of those multi-lingual announcements of gas and
electricity rate increases that accompany each month's bills.
In keeping with his belief in private enterprise, Unz will offer legislation to
strengthen American business. Any foreign company or product using a name that
can be translated into English must use the English version. Volkswagen will
become People's Car. He's already suggested that Saab and Volvo merge into
Salvo. Those BMWs built in South Carolina will become BSCs.
Recognizing that health care will be the major issue in 2000, Unz has his own
patients' bill of rights. To assure the sick will not be kept in the dark about
their medical treatment, all prescriptions will be in English. For those
diseases that now carry unpronounceable names, he'll substitute simple English.
Disaster relief has a high priority. To protect those plagued by the
vicissitudes of nature the National Weather Service will reverse the creeping
multi-culturalism of recent years and apply only traditional English names to
hurricanes. No more Joses.
Nor is Unz only concerned with domestic issues. To safeguard American
interests in foreign affairs, it is necessary to eliminate treaty ambiguities.
To accomplish that, the U.S. will not ratify any treaty written in a language
other than English. If foreigners want it in their language they can translate
it, but the only official version will be the English one. English will
replace French as the language of diplomacy.
Judged by this platform, Unz's critics are on dangerous ground if they attempt
to dismiss his candidacy as that of a single issue politician. Furthermore,
unlike others, he is at least consistent.
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(Ralph E. Shaffer and Walter P. Coombs are professors emeriti at Cal Poly
Pomona.)